🌱 I Was Done Chasing




Welcome to Mindful Future Leaders. This is my story — not the polished version, but the real, messy one that brought me here.

 


The path looked right... But it didn’t feel right

I spent most of my life doing what I thought I was supposed to do:
Finish school. Go to university. Get a stable job.
And I did.

I advanced quickly in my career as an accountant. But no matter how hard I worked, I couldn’t get through the final qualification. It felt like my mind was blocking me, and the more I pushed, the more stuck I felt.

On the outside, I looked like I had it all together.
On the inside, I was angry, irritable, and unhappy, and that energy spilled into every part of my life.

Trying to fill the void

I kept searching for something more.
I tried offering part-time accounting services. Then the wedding industry. Then, baby toy distribution.

I was chasing money, but not chasing my purpose.
And every time I failed, I blamed myself… and ran back to the safety of corporate life.

Deep down, I wanted to try again, to start something that felt aligned and purposeful, but the fear of failing (again) kept me stuck for years.
So I stayed. And I gave my energy, ideas, and skills away to individuals who didn’t value them. All while missing out on what really mattered, time with my children, freedom, and living with purpose.

A surprise that shook me

In January 2024, I found out I was pregnant with our third child.
At the time, I already had two young daughters, and the news came as a complete shock.
Honestly, I didn’t feel ready, either emotionally or financially.
My marriage was rocky. I was already feeling stretched thin, and this felt like one more thing I couldn’t carry.

Just a month earlier, in December 2023, my husband and I had a terrible fallout. One that nearly ended everything.
But strangely… the pregnancy brought us closer for a while. We made up. We chose to move forward. We tried again.

But deep down, I knew we were just surviving, holding on by a thread.

Work took over my life

At the end of 2023, I was accepted into a management development course at work.
Finally, I thought. This is my breakthrough.

It started with personal development modules, something I didn’t expect to be such an emotional ride. I didn’t want to open up too much, especially when aiming for a promotion. But something shifted.

I started seeing myself clearly, and it hurt.
I realized I had spent years adapting to every environment, molding myself to fit in, to be liked, to be successful…
but I didn’t know who I was anymore.

And yet, I pushed harder. I worked even more.
Work took over my thoughts, my identity, my conversations. It became my everything.

And then, life stopped me in my tracks.

The loss that woke me up

I had a miscarriage.

That loss was painful, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
But it was also a moment of truth.

I had been so busy proving myself… I didn’t realize how far I had drifted from who I truly wanted to be.
And I knew: something had to change. Me, or everything around me.

🌿 Why I Started Mindful Future Leaders

I created this space because I know what it feels like to live on autopilot.
To do everything “right” and still feel disconnected.
To chase success while losing yourself.

Through this blog, I want to help you reconnect with your mind, your emotions, and your truth.
Not just for personal growth, but because you deserve to feel fulfilled.

Here, I’ll share my journey, what I’m learning through NLP coaching, mindfulness, and real-life experience.
I’ll talk about motherhood, healing, relationships, identity, and how to stop surviving and start living the life you always wanted.

Because I truly believe:

The future is mindful. And it starts with you.

✨ Want to stick around?

This isn’t a perfect blog.
It’s a real one. And you’re so welcome here.

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